Tribulation
How many tears must roll down my face?
How many times will the question be asked with no answer, "why?"
Why am I even more confused at the place where I am supposed to be enlightened?
How many more times will pairs of hands shake in frustration?
How many nights will I go to bed lonely, longing for some connection that can't be there?
I am so tired of this. I don't know if I can make it through.
Unlike the other times, I think I might.
Is this where I shatter the glass that has been knocking me down? Will I break through?
Will I see light through the tunnel I am trying to dig?
I want to be strong, but it's to easy to be weak.
I want to be happy, but it's so hard to remember what I had.
Some say I have to forget, but I won't because I need to know what to be looking for.
I won't forget him, because I won't settle for anything less.
I won't settle.
How many tears must roll down my face?
How many times will the question be asked with no answer, "why?"
Why am I even more confused at the place where I am supposed to be enlightened?
How many more times will pairs of hands shake in frustration?
How many nights will I go to bed lonely, longing for some connection that can't be there?
I am so tired of this. I don't know if I can make it through.
Unlike the other times, I think I might.
Is this where I shatter the glass that has been knocking me down? Will I break through?
Will I see light through the tunnel I am trying to dig?
I want to be strong, but it's to easy to be weak.
I want to be happy, but it's so hard to remember what I had.
Some say I have to forget, but I won't because I need to know what to be looking for.
I won't forget him, because I won't settle for anything less.
I won't settle.
-some thoughts that I started to write during sacrament meeting, which started out so dark and painful because that's what I was feeling. I just finished it and though it's not clear, I have a new feeling along with confusion and pain, it's empty determination.
In church we sang The Lord is My Shepherd. I have always kept that one in my mind since we sang it at Grandpa's funeral, and as it has stayed with me over the years it has given me strength and inspiration. It is one that is truly beautiful.
Thru the valley and shadow of death though I stray,
Since though art my Guardian, no evil I fear.
Thy rod shall defend me, they staff be my stay.
No harm can befall with my Comforter near.
In the midst of affliction my table is spread.
With blessings unmeasured my cup runneth over.
With perfume and oil thou anointest my head.
"There is no peace in reflecting on the pain of old wounds. There is peace only in repentance and forgiveness. This is the sweet peace of the Christ, who said, ‘blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.’ "
In church we sang The Lord is My Shepherd. I have always kept that one in my mind since we sang it at Grandpa's funeral, and as it has stayed with me over the years it has given me strength and inspiration. It is one that is truly beautiful.
Thru the valley and shadow of death though I stray,
Since though art my Guardian, no evil I fear.
Thy rod shall defend me, they staff be my stay.
No harm can befall with my Comforter near.
In the midst of affliction my table is spread.
With blessings unmeasured my cup runneth over.
With perfume and oil thou anointest my head.
"There is no peace in reflecting on the pain of old wounds. There is peace only in repentance and forgiveness. This is the sweet peace of the Christ, who said, ‘blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.’ "
-Pres. Hinckley
1 comment:
You will make it through, I have no doubt. Never settle for anything less than the best...your best.
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