two years ago...

Today I was frustrated with things so I was looking through my journal and was reminded that during spring quarter I wanted to have everything figured out, but I had faith that it would work out. Then looking back that the summer, I saw how my prayers were answered with a new friend entering in my life. This friend helped me stay strong by believing in me and the power that I had to be a better person. Even through my weaknesses he always made sure I knew my strengths and the worth that I had being a daughter of God. Well, I was briefly describing in my journal how my prayers were answered and I shifted it to what I was thankful for. I have parents and siblings that love me and care for me. I am going to school for an experience that will prepare me for life. I have some amazing friends who are close to me and I am so glad they came into my life. I have a body that is healthy and an ingenious device that helps keep me healthy.
Two years ago, I wouldn’t have said that. In fact, two years ago from today I was in the hospital feeling so tired I thought I was either going to die or explode. I was going through so many tests and procedures while I was still in shock about the dramatic news I had received about my body. I was sitting through so many lectures that were hitting me like a ton of bricks. Lectures about what had happened, how a part of me was dead. Lectures from super happy people excited to tell me about my *new* life to come and how it will never be the same again. I am so grateful to my family who, that day supported me from near and far. They gave me the support that I had never before that time knew I needed. That day seemed like an eternity. Those 4 days felt like they would never go away, but it did end and I was able to go home.
That first month was a struggle with meetings, doctor appointments of all kinds, education meetings, dietitian appointments- it seemed like it was a constant thing stirring in my life. It did eventually settle and now with the help and love of my mom, and the caring priesthood blessings from my dad- the constant reassurance that even though they didn’t fully understand they would always be behind me. The loving phone calls from my brothers and sisters were a great start to learn how to deliver all the explanations I would have to give to people I would come in contact that next year and the years to come.
I relied so much on my Savior. It was so hard to understand why it was this trial that had been allowed to hit me. Still, at times of frustration and resentment, I was able to look to Him for peace and comfort, then I felt the small push I needed form Him to keep going.

These two years have been an amazing learning experience. I used to not understand why this change had to occur in my life, but now I say that Heavenly Father blessed me with this challenge. I am constantly learning self control and how to start and keep a schedule. The relationship with my mother was deepened so much when I saw her go through everything with me, along my side. I developed a greater understanding of the atonement and the importance of the resurrection and having a perfect body again. I am grateful to Heavenly Father for everything I have and all the trials that I have been through to make me the person that I have become today.


“If you could see the woman God intended for you to become you would rise up and never be the same again”